Successful Books That You Think Are Rubbish

A while back, someone pointed me towards a new novel. It had rave reviews from the critics and was considered an important addition to its genre. "Just read the first page," they said. "The prose is amazing."

It was crap. The prose was like bad poetry. It recited a string of cliches. It was mannered and unconvincing in what it sought to portray. The best thing I could think of was that old line attributed to Abraham Lincoln: "People who like this sort of thing will find this to be the sort of thing that they like".

So what do you do when you see something like this: when you feel that it's a ragingly obvious case of the Emperor's New Clothes? I can't say for sure. I can't give you a pep talk or cheer you up just like that, but here are some thoughts.


1. Luck. There is a lot of luck in this game, a horrendous, depressing amount of luck. In some ways, it's luck that got me published: although I maximised my chances by writing a good book, if I'd been truly unlucky, it would still be a good book that nobody would publish. Which isn't immediately a cheering thought, but it does mean that you may not be doing anything wrong.

I'll say it again: all you can do is maximise your chances of success.


2. This bad author isn't in direct competition with you. It's not the case that fans read three fantasy novels a year and then stop. Consider those streets in any big town where you get five or six restaurants in a row. Why are they close together like that? It's probably because one strengthens another: the presence of several restaurants makes people see that street as a place to go. It benefits all the restaurants to create that atmosphere. In the same way, the presence of several novels of the same sort, even the bad ones, gives the feeling of a healthy genre that is worth investigating.

Of course, the fact that Bad Book X got a vast advance isn't cheering. But then, nor is the fact that I didn't win the lottery this week.


3. If this book is massively promoted, it probably doesn't matter whether  it's good or bad. Fifty Shades of Grey, for instance, is generally recognised to be awful in every respect. But it was sold well to an audience who would buy it. Where huge advances and the lifestyles of the rich and famous are concerned, the stories we hear probably aren't very much like real life for even successful authors.


4. This book might not actually be as bad as you think. People's tastes vary, and just because they like one book that you don't, it doesn't mean that they'll never read anything that you think is decent (such as yours). There are people out there who think Cormac McCarthy is an amazing prose writer, after all. Horses for courses or, as Cormac would probably say, "God's own steeds throbbing with the fierce wordless love of brute fury for courses". And I'm sure the author or whatever it is you dislike actually worked at this thing just as much as you.


5. You have to keep on. That's all there is to it, really. You have to keep going and learn to shrug this stuff off. Yes, it's galling, but what else is there to do but continue? I'm sorry if that isn't the world's most inspiring thing to hear, but let's be realistic. You have to decide whether you are going to do this or not. And if you are going to, that means sitting down and getting on. You have to keep learning, keep practising, keep putting out work and learning how to make it better.

And then, when you do succeed, you can annoy everyone by pretending it was a doddle all along.